Dysfunctional behavior is a habit that is just as hard to break as any addiction. At the age of 38 I went for counseling and was made aware of how I was allowing behaviours that were inappropriate towards me. One of the concepts our support group was introduced to was the concept of agressive, assertive, and passive behaviours. We spent many sessions learning to recognize the difference between these three types of behaviour. I have learned to shape my life over time in a way that works for me.
This past while I have lived with my elderly mother and clearly identify many dysfunctional behaviours that she clings to. When I try to suggest possible solutions to some of her problems that have been with her for many years, she makes excuses why she cannot try my ideas.

I honestly believe that she has become so comfortable in her negativity that it fits her like an "old shoe" and she won't go through the process of putting up with any emotional "blisters" in order to break in the new shoes of new behaviours.

The difficult thing for me is that she expects me to sympathize with her, but the fact is I don't, because I know several things she could change in her life to eliminate these ongoing problems, but she refuses to do them.

I suppose my mom isn't going to change and I will have to humour her along. I would like to get involved with some new people in my community, but I am not sure how I am going to go about this. There is one lady in the writing club I recently joined and I would like to see her once is a while over coffee. I will have to attend the next meeting in order to arrange this and hopefully she will be there. We do not meet over the summer, so this may be my last chance to see her until September.

It's getting late and I am getting tired, so I will end this blog now.

The Brentwood Park Elementary School Reunion

Friday May 19, 2006 was the 50th Anniversary Celebration of Brentwood Park Elementary Schoo, in North Burnaby, BC, Canada. It's been 43 years since I graduated from grade 7 to move on up to Alpha Junior High, which now goes up to grade 12.

I saw lots of old friends and neighbours and some distant relatives as well. Vicki Gruben (my stepdaughter's daughter) and Wanda Walters and her younger sister, Barbara. They were Thorburns as girls. They share a couple of cousins with us - George Agnew and Donna (Sewell) Agnew. I attended both days - Friday and Saturday. And it was wonderful.

I saw Louise Gerber who I last saw in 1970, I'm sure. I think it was when I had my first baby. Then I moved away to Sointula 200 miles north of Burnaby where I stayed with my husband, Steve Millar, and had three more baby boys. We raised our boys up there and I kicked up a protest until Steve very reluctantly agreed to buy a house in Campbell River to relocate to a larger town with more amenities. By then, the vestiage of a marriage completed the desintigration process. We got divorced. Steve moved to Surrey are remarried and I stayed in Campbell River to help two of our sons finish school while I returned to college to polish up my skills to re-enter the workforce - a new and different place from the one I had left 21 years prior. It was a less friendly and less welcoming job market. Higher education was required and the pay and working conditions were inferior to those I had experienced in 1970 at BC Hydro. It came as a shock and I found the stress unbearable. I remarried and went back to get the degree I regretted not completing in 1968. The burden of student loans caused me to settle for an Associate of Arts Degree rather than the hoped-for Bachelor degree at Malapsina College. Oh, well at least I have a piece of paper to show for my trouble.

I am tired and stressed so I think I best draw this to a close and lie down. Maybe I will get to sleep early tonight. I hope so.